Hashem has a plan

I just gave my niece a pep talk that she's been in camp this whole summer having a terrible time, but she did not give up and she is still there.  I'm so proud of her.  B/c apparently, last year, I started a new job at girls' high school.  I was sooooo excited about it.  I just found two posts on Facebook that came up in my memories.  They did not age well, to say the least.  It's so funny to me how hopeful and excited I was about that job, and how utterly disastrous it turned out to be.  B/c between you and me and the NSA, they treated me so unfairly and gave up on me after a month.  ONE MONTH!!!  Talk about no learning curve.  They didn't train me and gave me very little guidance.  And they were very deceptive about things.  Like they kept saying they want to set me up for success.  But in fact, they set me up for failure.  And fail I did.  It was such an epic dumpster fire.  It's really a bracha that they fired me.  I got the hello out of there, and still got unemployment out of it.

Hashem has a plan.  I don't know what it is, or why it is, but Hashem has a plan.  And it was for me to be there for a minute.  And then not be there.

Sociology study

I haven't written in a while, but I have a lot of thoughts that I can't really share in public, but I neeeeed to write them.  I'll start here.

I go to my town pool every Sunday.  It is a fascinating study in human behavior.  Much like when they told me in grad school to sit in the high school lunch room during lunch and just watch how things go.  I didn't do that as an intern, but I did in Heichal.  I noticed that for such a frum yeshiva, I never heard any zimun at lunch.  Never.  Not once.  It doesn't mean it didn't happen.  But I never heard it.  Weird, right?

Anyways, back to my original point.  So, I go to the pool and it's fascinating.  There are umbrellas and each umbrella is a different shul group.  Darchei friends sit here, Shomrei friends sit there, Young Israel people sit over there, Teaneck people all sit together somewhere, and the non-jews sit wherever.  People think this is normal b/c obviously you want to sit with your friends. But people have friends across the shuls.  Yet they always sit with their shul.  It's like sticking with your bus on a school trip.  I think it's bizarre.

Also, I am amazed at the amount of people who bring their phones into the water.  Like they are standing there, holding their phones as if they're in their back yard.  That is just asking for trouble.  I even saw one woman tuck her phone into the strap of her bathing suit.  Seriously??  It is totally going to fall in the water!  I guess it's not my problem if they want to be stupid, but I'm just perplexed by this.

I also find Perek in the Park fascinating, but that's for another post.  And anyways, all this might be my own insecurities and social phobia talking.

Happy Birthday, Bubby, z"l, a"h

My daughter loves getting new books every month from PJ Library.  We read them together all the time (ALL the time) and I love reading them to her while she snuggles up next to me.  We recently got one called "The Friday Nights of Nana", which is about a young girl, maybe 10, who goes to her grandmother for Shabbat, and it's all about how they prepare for Shabbat together on Friday and then the whole family comes for shabbat.  It's written a little strangely, and at first I didn't love it, but I read it to my daughter anyways because she likes it and I love when she snuggles up against me while I read to her.  I started thinking about it more and so much of this short book reminds me of me and my bubby.  I don't remember actually going to my grandparents for a shabbat, but I know I did because I remember helping my bubby set up the kiddush for her shul.  (I guess it runs in the family :) ).  I do remember going to my bubby's apt at 215 W. 78th Street - which meant nothing to me as a kid, but I could recite that perfectly every time.  I loved going to Bubby and Zaida's home.  They let me do whatever I wanted, like "washing" their fridge (making more of a mess than actually cleaning anything), and watching tv past my bedtime, and cheating at rummy.  Bubby had a box of jewelry just for me to play with.  My box was red.  My sister's was white.  And she had skirts in her closet that we would just go and take and put on.  

I have so many favorite memories of my Bubby and Zaida, it's hard to say only one is my favorite.  But I think the funniest one is one time, while I was visiting, I had to go to the bathroom really badly, but my Zaida was in the shower.  I told Bubby I couldn't wait.  She told me to wait one minute and went into her pantry in the kitchen.  After moving things around, she showed me there in her giant pantry, which Moshe would call a Costco closet because of how big it was, there, in the middle, was a dirty black toilet.  I suddenly was able to wait for Zaida to be done in the real bathroom.  

The other funniest, which is more about Zaida, is that my Zaida had a fruit and vegetable store, which I guess would be a bodega.  My cousins, who are much older than I am, used to go all the time.  By the time I came along, Zaida was long since retired, so I only knew about the store from stories.  Zaida used to tell us that Babe Ruth would come and buy produce from him.  When I was little, I thought that was the coolest thing ever!  When I was a snarky teenager, I thought there's no way that's true, and he was just saying it to have a cool story for me.  But my dad pointed out that Babe Ruth probably ate fruits and vegetables, and he had to buy them somewhere, so may as well have been my Zaida's store.  Fair point.  Fast forward to last year, when I told my aunt that story and she said no way!  It's not true.  Zaida was just teasing me.  But then my cousin said it was definitely true.  Because why not?  The funny part about this was my aunt and cousin arguing about it.  It was one of those you had to be there moments.  And I was.  And it was pretty darn funny.

Thinking back as a parent, on everything my Bubby and Zaida let me do, breaking all my parents' rules, doing whatever I wanted, my own parents must've been so super frustrated.  I know because I get frustrated when my parents don't follow my rules for my kids.  But I know my kids are going to have the best day with my parents just like I had with my Bubby and Zaida.

Happy Birthday Bubby!

18 years in Washington Heights

After 18 and a half years, this shabbat is my last shabbat in Washington Heights. I really can’t believe it. Just to put things in perspective, when I moved here, the first Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter movies came out, Baruch Schwartz was about 1 year old, the Fermaglich triplets were also about 1 or 2, it was a long time ago. I moved to the heights in July 2001 after college thinking this was short term. 

I don’t remember my first shabbat, but I remember the first meal I ever hosted in my tiny apt on the YU side, which was only $290 in rent. I had no idea what I was doing. Who knew you had to get to Key Food earlier than Thursday night?! Riverdale Kosher Market didn’t exist in my life yet.

I remember davening in the YU Rubin shul Friday night and going to the Bridge Shul on Shabbat morning b/c that’s where all the young people were going. None of my friends went to Mount Sinai. I had never even heard of Mount Sinai. A lot has changed since then.

In 18 years living in Washington Heights, I have:

• served with 17 other trustees for one year on the Mount Sinai board,
• driven to, taken a bus, or flown, to 16 different locations including 12 states and 2 foreign countries, for WaHi friends’ weddings,
• been a member of Mount Sinai for 15 years,
• had 14 roommates,
• stayed in the heights for 13 Rosh Hashanah and Pesach holidays, when it’s typical for young people to clear out,
• driven to and through 12 states on vacations with friends I met in the heights,
• been involved in and\or played in all 11 Panoplies,
• served on 10 different shul committees,
• and contributed, by writing and/or acting, to 9 different Purim shpiels and events,
• moved 8 times
• to 7 apartments on 7 different streets,
• made 6 videos for shul events, 
• and 5 fun videos for bridal showers for friends I met in the heights,
• lost 4 roommates to their husbands,
• served for 3 years as First Lady,
• had 2 children,
• and went to 1 Mount Sinai singles event that changed my life forever. #metatmtsinai and #mtsinaimemories - click on (or copy and paste) the hashtags, see what comes up! 

This morning’s parsha told us about Yaakov picking up his family and moving down to Mitzrayim, which turned out pretty badly for the Jews. This week, my family will pick up and move to NJ. Not quite Mitzrayim, although their only official sports team is called the “Devils”. And I hope it doesn’t turn out the same way. Although Oren already hinted at roping me into things.

Parshat Vayetzei starts out “Vayetzei Yaakov miBe’er Sheva, vayeilech Charana” - Yaakov left Be’er Sheva and went to Charan. Rashi there asks why was it necessary for the Torah to say that Yaakov left where he was? Why couldn’t it just say “Vayeilech Charana”? Rashi basically says it’s to teach us that when a great person leaves a town, the town is forever changed.

I’m not saying I’m such a great person. I’d like to reframe that Rashi and suggest that when a person leaves a great town, the person is forever changed.

18 years is a very long time, and I’ve definitely changed a lot over the years, and so has this amazing community. When I got here, the younger crowd was so small, that they all fit at one shabbat meal. Then more people moved in and they split into 2 meals and it became “whose meal are you going to?” And they were not really involved at all in the shul. I remember davening in Ben Sandler's apt on Friday nights. Then we started coming to Mount Sinai and davening downstairs, then coming upstairs, and the younger people started getting more and more involved. I got involved in the kiddush committee when a friend called me out of desperation looking for help, and that was it.

I’ve seen soooo much change and growth here, and I’m very proud and honored that I could have a part in it. Kiddush committee will always have a special place in my heart. As will Panoply and the shul dinners. The fundraising committee I could have skipped.

Through the years, I’ve learned the importance of being involved in my community. I’ve learned how to be a leader, I’ve also learned how Not to be a leader, and all the mistakes I’ve made, and I’ve learned how to sit down and support someone else being the leader.

This is a very special community that gives everyone so many opportunities to be involved, to contribute, and to share. I’m very blessed that I was able to take advantage of those opportunities. I’ve certainly shared a lot of myself here, a lot of my family, our smachot. I’ve made countless friends and even more memories that I will treasure forever. I encourage all of you to also take advantage of everything the shul has to offer. And if the shul doesn’t offer something that you would like to see, make it happen. There really is no limit to what you can do here.

With credit to Stephen Schwartz and Idina Menzel,

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime - (although I hope that’s not true. Please come visit us!)
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend…

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you - b/c I lived here -
I have been changed for good.


Thank you.

Happy Birthday Indeed!

• Realized I have to be in Brooklyn for an important work thing on my birthday.  Sad face.
• Realized I could go to Carvel in Boro Park after the work thing, before going back to my regular office.  Hooray!
• Carvel in Boro Park is 1/2 hour in the wrong direction.  Sad face.
• There's a Carvel by the Bull in lower (lowest?) Manhattan.  That's on the way to my midtown office.  Hooray!
• That Carvel is permanently closed according to Google Maps.  Super sad face!
• Maybe I should just take my "lunch break" and go to Boro Park for Carvel.  Hooray!
• Realized my supervisor will be with me at the work thing so how can I justify going a half hour in the wrong direction just for ice cream?  And if she decides to go to work at the Boro Park clinic and takes the same train I would take to Carvel, I can't even like part ways and sneak there. Super Duper sad face!
• Realized my supervisor might stay at the work thing in Brooklyn with my co-worker who has a work thing there right after me.  Hooray!
• So many obstacles just to get Carvel on my birthday.  But like Calev says, "Aloh naaleh...Ki yachol nuchal lah".  Let's go!  Because we can!  Happy Birthday To Me!

Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You are my age. This makes no sense.

I love catching mistakes and plot holes in movies and tv shows and I just found one in one of the greatest movies ever, The Princess Bride.  Inigo Montoya has been searching almost his whole life for the 6-fingered man who killed his father.  He is Very vocal about it.  He explained that he was 11 years old when the 6-fingered man killed his father and left scars on his face.  And he dedicated his life to finding this guy and avenging his father's death.  He finally meets him and eventually kills him - which by the way that scene also makes no sense b/c the 6-fingered man stabs Inigo Montoya in both shoulders and his stomach, and it seems like Inigo is going to die, but he somehow finds the strength to get up and kill the 6-fingered man - WITH THE SAME STABS!  Inigo stabs the 6-fingered man in both shoulders and his stomach.  Same thing.  Yet the 6-fingered man dies and Inigo goes on to live a nice long life.  It makes no sense.  But ok, back to my original point.  When Inigo finally meets the 6-fingered man, whom we met already earlier in the movie, doesn't it seem like the 6-fingered man is a little bit close in age to Inigo?  Like they could both be in their 30's.  So how old was the 6-fingered man when he killed Mr. Montoya senior?!  Because if Inigo was 11 when that happened, and the 6-fingered man is around the same age, was he like 14?!  Then how could he have killed anyone?!  It makes no sense.  I want to tell IMDB.

WTHDYM?!?!*

I think one of the ways social media is ruining is society, aside from the incredibly dumb and annoying hashtag, (IT'S THE POUND SIGN!!!) is how people have started abbreviating everything they write instead of writing real words.  Like "ppl" instead of "people" and "ttyl" instead of "talk to you later" and "TIL" instead of "today I learned" (which ILT - I learned today).  I understand saving time and all, but do you really save that much time by skipping 10 letters?  Like really, does writing TIL save you so much time that you can't bear to write "Today I learned"?  It took me longer to think about what the letters of the words are and how to abbreviate them, than the time it took me to just spell out the words.  

Can you imagine if people just started abbreviating everything??  Like this - IYRWT ST, MDB OSM!!!**  What the hello does that mean?!  So while people try to save those precious few seconds, I always ask what they mean.  This way, 1. I learn new things - which I really don't care to waste brain space on, but ok - and 2. all that time you saved, you had to spend explaining to me what you meant anyways.  So was it worth it?

And just by the way, **If you really want to save time, maybe don't be on social media.

post script - the title of this entry is "What the hello do you mean?"