Sunday, October 15, 2017

Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You are my age. This makes no sense.

I love catching mistakes and plot holes in movies and tv shows and I just found one in one of the greatest movies ever, The Princess Bride.  Inigo Montoya has been searching almost his whole life for the 6-fingered man who killed his father.  He is Very vocal about it.  He explained that he was about 8 years old when the 6-fingered man killed his father and left scars on his face.  And he dedicated his life to finding this guy and avenging his father's death.  He finally meets him and eventually kills him - which by the way that scene also makes no sense b/c the 6-fingered man stabs Inigo Montoya in both shoulders and his stomach, and it seems like Inigo is going to die, but he somehow finds the strength to get up and kill the 6-fingered man - WITH THE SAME STABS!  Inigo stabs the 6-fingered man in both shoulders and his stomach.  Same thing.  Yet the 6-fingered man dies and Inigo goes on to live a nice long life.  It makes no sense.  But ok, back to my original point.  When Inigo finally meets the 6-fingered man, whom we met already earlier in the movie, doesn't it seem like the 6-fingered man is a little bit close in age to Inigo?  Like they could both be in their 30's.  So how old was the 6-fingered man when he killed Mr. Montoya senior?!  Because if Inigo was 8 when that happened, and the 6-fingered man is around the same age, was he like 10?!  Then how could he have killed anyone?!  It makes no sense.  I want to tell IMDB.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

WTHDYM?!?!*

I think one of the ways social media is ruining is society, aside from the incredibly dumb and annoying hashtag, (IT'S THE POUND SIGN!!!) is how people have started abbreviating everything they write instead of writing real words.  Like "ppl" instead of "people" and "ttyl" instead of "talk to you later" and "TIL" instead of "today I learned" (which ILT - I learned today).  I understand saving time and all, but do you really save that much time by skipping 10 letters?  Like really, does writing TIL save you so much time that you can't bear to write "Today I learned"?  It took me longer to think about what the letters of the words are and how to abbreviate them, than the time it took me to just spell out the words.  

Can you imagine if people just started abbreviating everything??  Like this - IYRWT ST, MDB OSM!!!**  What the hello does that mean?!  So while people try to save those precious few seconds, I always ask what they mean.  This way, 1. I learn new things - which I really don't care to waste brain space on, but ok - and 2. all that time you saved, you had to spend explaining to me what you meant anyways.  So was it worth it?

And just by the way, **If you really want to save time, maybe don't be on social media.

post script - the title of this entry is "What the hello do you mean?"

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

How much?

When I was little, and we would talk about how much my parents love me, and it was always sooo much, so I would also say "up to the sky and down to the living room". That's a heck of a lot. It just occurred to me today why did I never say "down to the basement"? Wouldn't that mean more love? Maybe my parents and I just didn't love each other that much.
(They did. don't worry.)

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

My very own plot hole

My favorite TV show ever is Friends.  I love it so much and know it so well, that I could probably have conversations in only Friends quotes if I really tried.  So naturally, I've been reading lately about all the plot holes in the series, and also finding some of my own.  Well, today, I realized I have my very own plot hole in the story of my life.  

My birthday is August 1.  (Funny side story, a lot of my August rent checks were dated 8/1/79.  But back to my plot hole).  My mom told me I was born 4 days after I was due.  She also told me I was due July 27.  One day, I realized that 4 days after July 27 is actually July 31, not August 1!  This leaves me with so many questions!

  1. If I was in fact 4 days late, was my due date actually July 28?

    OR
  2. If my due date was actually July 27, then wasn't I born 5 days late?

    OR
  3. If my due date was actually July 27, and I was actually 4 days late, is my birthday really July 31?  😟

    And
  4. How is it possible that Monica was a chef in a fancy restaurant, yet always home at dinner time?  Shouldn't that be her busiest time of the day and she should be at work?!
I feel so lost :(  

Monday, July 31, 2017

Be careful what you wish for

I'm in a secret mommy group on facebook.  The other day, I was searching for something someone had written, (which I never found, but ok).  I stumbled upon a post I wrote on May 1 about how I hate having to wake up my daughter in the morning so that I can get her ready for daycare in time for me to get to work on time, and not letting her sleep until she's ready to get up.  That was May 1.  I got fired on May 3.  I guess Hashem was listening.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Testing, 1, 2,

Sometimes, I shout things to my baby while I'm in the bathroom so she knows I'm still there. Like this morning, when I shouted to her in detail about how my poop was worse than what she had in her diaper this morning. Then I realized if I can hear my neighbors in the shower vent, I wonder who can hear me and what they must be thinking. Oh well. I hope I gave them a good laugh...or a good lesson...

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Don't Move! (But if you must, you should read this)

I know how stressful moving can be.  I've moved 7 times within the heights and had a few different experiences - and some PTSD.  Like serious PTSD.  Like when I return something to Amazon, and I have to seal the box with packing tape, and I hear the sound of the packing tape, I get very anxious.  So really, my best advice is to never move.  But since you already made your decision...

Here is my long post about all my experiences.  Hopefully it will help make your moving experience a little bit easier.  It's a long post, but in my opinion, worth reading, so please continue...or feel free to ignore this.  Except for the last paragraph.  That will save you sooooo much time.  But really feel free to ignore me if you want.  No skin off my back.

When I moved out of my first apt, I didn't have so much stuff, I didn't own any furniture except my bed and two dressers, so I got friends and my parents' car and it was fine.  With every move, I got more stuff.  One move, I got friends and a u-haul and it took aaaall day (I think actually 16 hours), and it ended up being fine, but I felt really bad about it and bought them all dinner.  After that, I started hiring movers.

As far as moving companies...
I used Dumbo once.  The head mover convinced me to pay by the box rather than by the hour.  His argument was if you pay by the hour, the workers will move slower and take more time to make more money.  So I listened.  That was a huge mistake.  Everything counted as a "box".  A lamp was a "box".  My little George Forman Grill box counted on its own as a "box" - if I had known that, I would have packed it into a bigger box with other things.  And you really don't realize how much stuff you have until you're paying per every single piece.  At a certain point, we told them to stop and we would just move the rest ourselves b/c we didn't want to rack up a hugeungous bill.  But that meant we had to now move a lot of things ourselves, which involved many trips with dollies and cars and bubby carts back and forth.  What a pain!

I used OZ twice.  They are Amazing!  All I did was open the doors and offer water.  I didn't lift a finger.  They even set up my bedroom on the first move b/c I had no idea where to put things.  On the second move, I had even more stuff, so I ended up paying them to pack some of it - mostly stuff I didn't care as much about and that wasn't breakable.  On both moves, they put together my bed, which they had to take apart to move it, and they put furniture wherever I told them.  By the time they were done, I didn't have much to do in setting up my apt b/c they had done a lot of the setting up.  I just had to unpack the boxes.  And the guys were nice and friendly and pleasant to work with both times.  They started at 8 or 9 am (I don't remember) and they finished at like 3.  So I still had the rest of the day to do whatever.  They are expensive, but worth every penny for the peace of mind. 

In my most recent move, my husband thought we'll save money and not hire movers - we'll get the worker guys from his store to pack and shlep everything in a rented U-haul.  That was such a hugeungous ginormous mistake.  Do NOT do that.  (You can skip this purple part, b/c it's more of me ranting than advice, but just if you're curious - They are not movers so they don't know what they're doing - like how to properly wrap furniture so it doesn't get scratched up or chipped or broken altogether, which did happen to a lot of my stuff.  My rationale for this was you don't go to movers college and learn how to be a professional mover, and anyone can wrap a table, so who cares.  But movers really do know what they're doing and they come with supplies, and these guys did not.  Also, they don't come with insurance like real movers do, so when they broke our new building's elevator, we had to pay for that ourselves ($800).  They were totally irresponsible and did not return the U-haul truck properly like I instructed them.  The guy drove around at 3am looking for a parking spot - which cost us extra mileage on the truck and wasted gas.  He then parked the truck illegally, which earned us a parking ticket.  He also did not refill the gas tank so we got penalized for that as well.  The only reason I didn't return the truck myself was that they didn't finish moving us until 3am even though they started at like 9am.  Meantime, they didn't even finish with all our stuff and I had to make a few trips back to our old apt with a bubby cart and the broken elevator they caused.  It was such a nightmare.  B/c of the broken elevator, the parking ticket, and the extra mileage and gas on the truck, we ended up paying double what I had paid OZ.  2 years later, I'm still angry about it.  Rant over.)  
Sometimes, it's worth buying the cheaper brand, but some things, you just don't skimp on - like Reynold's foil, Pampers diapers, and good movers.

I've heard good things about FlatRate from many people.  I've never used them.  I've also heard good things about Schulgasser.  Also never used them.  Moving is one of the worst stresses in life so I would happily spend a little more money for a good company.  


The other few things I've learned in general about moving:
1.  Movers are significantly cheaper any day after the 1st of the month.  Everyone moves on the 30th, 31st, and 1st of the month b/c that's when leases usually start and end and people have to be out of their apts by then.  If you can move on the 2nd or 3rd of the month or later, you'll save a lot of money.  If they're going to renovate your apt after you move out, or do any work like repaint or whatever, it shouldn't matter if you leave a couple days later.  If new tenants are moving in right away, not much you can do.  But they usually paint or do something, so it's very much worth asking the landlord if you can stay a couple extra days, b/c it will save you hundreds of dollars.  Or you can tell them you couldn't get movers before the 2nd, which can definitely happen.  Whether it's true or not is on your own conscience.

2. Also, always buy their insurance.  If something happens, you'll want it.  Like when we moved and our fake movers broke our building's elevator and we had to pay the $800 to fix it b/c they were fake movers and didn't come with insurance.  Good reputable movers will have insurance for things like that and you won't be on the hook and it will be their problem.  And also if anything of yours arrives broken, their insurance I think will help with that too.  

3. This last point is the most amazing advice ever.  When you're packing boxes, use different colored duct tape for the different rooms you have.  You can get rolls on Amazon.  So for example, all boxes that are packed with kitchen supplies can be sealed in blue duct tape.  And all bathroom boxes can have yellow duct tape.  And all bedroom stuff can have pink duct tape.  It saves sooooooooooo much time when unpacking.  First of all, you can tell the movers to put all blue boxes in the kitchen, and all pink boxes in the bedroom, etc.  They will not read what you write on the boxes, probably b/c that takes too much time, but they can all figure out the colors (unless they're color blind...which would stink, but what can you do.)  Also, when you're unpacking, you know which boxes go where, in case the movers are colorblind or didn't bother listening.  And you'll know if you're looking for your favorite mug, it's in a blue box, so it saves you so much time looking for things.  Also, when you're unpacking, you can be more organized and like if you decide you want to unpack all your bathroom stuff today, you know to unpack only yellow boxes, and you don't have to open a million boxes to guess where things are and find bathroom things.  I can't praise this system enough.  It was a coworker's idea, and it made my life so much way easier.  You just need to remember what room each color is.

I hope this was helpful.  Good luck!